21 lessons in 21 years
Twenty-one: the death of my fake id & the last important birthday I’ll have until I’m fifty.
If I'm being honest, I haven't cared about my birthday since I was 16 when I had a laser-tag company come to my house. Not the typical sweet 16, right?
Most of the time, birthdays just bring me stress. I don't like the high expectations of how you should celebrate, I don't like making plans for myself, and I certainly don't like making plans for other people.
This years birthday feels a little different, though. I actually do have plans that I'm excited for, followed by a trip to Nashville to continue the celebration :)
And I guess being the center of attention for the day isn’t the worst thing ever.
While the pictures and videos may be everything you expect from a 21 year-old, I wanted to write this blog post to reflect a more sober & insightful side of my 21-year-old mindset.
It’s all about balance ;)
With that being said, here are 21 things I have learned in my mere 21 years of life. Each of these could be a blog post in themself (if you want me to elaborate more on a topic, send me a message!) but for now I'll keep it short & sweet.
1. It's better to fail than never try at all
Missing out on experiences due to fear will only ever leave you with regret. Rewire "what if it goes wrong" to "what if it goes right".
2. Putting yourself first isn't selfish
You'll never be able to make everyone happy, the least you can do is make yourself happy. Set boundaries, stop sacrificing, and make decisions for YOU.
3. There is power in vulnerability
Humans crave connection. Through vulnerability we are able to build meaningful relationships and not feel so alone in the world. It might be scary, but it's always worth it and empowering in the end.
4. Healing isn't linear
One day you're on top of the world, the next day your sobbing in Starbucks (true story). Stop shaming yourself for not constantly moving forward. Fall off hundreds of times, all that matters is you get back up.
5. If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive
If it makes you anxious or uneasy, it's costing you your peace. Remove the stressors, and stop wasting your time on things that bring negative energy. Your mental health is too important.
6. Be attached to nothing
Everything is temporary, nothing is permanent. Enjoy the now for what it is but realize that you will still be okay even if it’s all gone tomorrow.
7. It's okay to ask for help
Asking for help doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Keeping things to yourself will only make it harder. Seek professional help when needed- you're not a burden.
8. You won't have to chase what's meant for you
There's a difference between something needing work and trying to force something to work. What's meant for you will fall into place, stop wasting time trying to make things fit.
9. Discomfort is where growth happens
Anytime you've made progress, you've probably had to overcome some sort of discomfort. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable but it's also where the magic happens.
10. Happy people don’t tear others down –projection and reflection
The way someone treats you is only a reflection of themselves. People project their own insecurities onto others. Don't take it to heart- it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.
11. The only thing moment that exists is the present
The past only exists because of the present, The future is only created from the now. Stay present in this moment, it's the only one that matters.
12. Diet culture is fucked
You need to eat more than 1200 calories a day, theres no way to spot reduce fat, a quick fix isn't a sustainable one, listen to you gut (literally), you are perfect the way you are.
13. Jealousy doesn't show what you lack, it shows what you're capable of
If you can’t clap for others, it will never be your turn. Redirecting feelings of jealousy into inspiration. It makes you a happier person.
14. Waking up early is superior
A millionaire's morning routine starts at 5am...I'm just saying. I'm not going to get into this one because if you know, you know and if you don't, read this:
Pro's of waking up early: https://eachnight.com/sleep/how-to-wake-up-early/
15. Starting is the only way to make progress
Starting is ALWAYS the hardest part. The longer you procrastinate, the harder it becomes to do."The best time to start was yesterday, the next best time is now."
16. People change, let them prove it
This one isn't always true (ex: cheating?) but I think it's important to give people room to grow and show that they've changed. I have changed a lot, even within the past year so why wouldn't other people be capable of the same thing?
17. Your gut is always right
This one's for the girls, especially. Intuition never lies. If something doesn't feel right, don't ignore it- listen to it. Your body has a way of telling you when things are off.
18. Gratitude is key
When you focus on the good, the good gets better. Start paying attention to even the smallest blessings in life and it’ll change your outlook.
19. Social media is a highlight reel
We all know this but sometimes we need a reminder. It’s easy to find yourself comparing your life to others. Unfollow people who make you feel bad about yourself, consume content that uplifts you.
20. Journaling is the key to self-reflection
I will be writing an essay on this in the future. For now, just know that journaling helps you reach your subconscious mind, find inspiration, identify problems, ease anxiety, track growth, and become self aware!! Journal for 10 minutes a day and watch your life change, I promise.
21. Nothing is really that deep
At the end of the day, nothing is ever really that deep. Remember we are on a floating rock and that while your problems and feelings are valid, it is never the end of the world. Look at the bigger picture :)
