100 Days of Rejection
100 days of rejection
It was around a month ago when a TikTok came up on my for you page of a woman lying on a yoga mat, in the middle of a busy sidewalk. When asked what she was doing, the woman explained that it part of Rejection Therapy.
Rejection Therapy is a method used to help overcome the fear of rejection. The concept is that put yourself in vulnerable and uncomfortable situations in which you will likely be turned down. After doing this numerous times, you will start to become desensitized to the feeling and fear of being rejected.
I was in awe of this woman. As someone else who has always had an extreme fear of rejection/judgement, this was my worst nightmare and dream all in one. I wished so badly that I had the courage to do what she was doing. For a moment, I stopped to consider if this maybe was something I could do. Nope, not a chance. Even the thought of it was giving me anxiety.
I googled “Rejection Therapy Ideas” in hopes that I could find something a little less extreme. That’s when I came across Jia Jiang’s list of 100 days of rejection. I took one look at the list and immediately realized it was going to be zero help.
The first task on the list was “Ask a stranger to borrow $100”. I cringed. Absolutely not. That somehow that seemed worse than laying on the ground in public. I shut my phone off in defeat and let the idea of rejection therapy slip away.
Fast Forward 1 week later…
I had just finished up at the gym when I decided to open up Instagram. I clicked the first story I saw, and guess what it was? A link to a TedTalk someone shared about Rejection Therapy. I couldn’t escape it.
If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I’m a sign person. Angel numbers, colored cars, words on posters- you name it and I’ll probably take it as a sign. I pride myself on my intuition because it honestly has never steered me wrong. This was clearly something that had been on my mind, and I didn’t believe it was a coincidence that I was seeing it again. I clicked on the link and watched the video.
I listened all the way though, absorbing every word he said. Something in my gut was telling me I had to do this. No matter how uncomfortable it was going to make me, I knew I needed to do it, in order to grow. My fear of rejection has stemmed from a young age and negatively impact the choices I make (and don’t make), to this day. I have always held myself back from saying things, asking for opportunities, and putting myself in uncomfortable situations because I couldn’t bare the thought of being rejected. Even in elementary school, getting yelled at or told “no” by a teacher would have been enough to make me cry.
In addition to this I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis. I cant go a day without having anxious thoughts, overthinking, or fearing that I’m going to do something to make people hate me. This is something I’ve become extra self aware through this past year in therapy. I journal about my fear or rejection and caring too much about what people think daily. But aware of it wasn’t enough, I needed to know how to get over it.
This challenge was my fate.
If I ever wanted to reach my full potential I couldn’t live the rest of my life with these fears. Nothing was going to change unless I made the change. And the change needed to start now.
I got home from the gym and started getting ready for class. I texted a couple friends, just to ask out of curiosity, if they would ever ask a stranger for $100. They all immediately told me no. Absolutely not.
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I was oddly disappointed.
Did I think I could do it? No. But for some reason, hearing that the people closest to me wouldn’t do it either made me feel like I had to. It almost motivated me in a way. And not in an I’m better than you type of way, but in a we are all afraid of the same thing and I need to prove that this is something we can overcome , type of way.
I was feeling inspired by this whole idea, so I decided to make a TikTok. I sat down to do my makeup, explained the concept, and publicly committed myself to the challenge so I couldn’t back out. But never did I think it would get the attention that it did.
As I’m writing this, I am only on day 10. If you would like to follow along this journey day by day, you can watch my videos and read about my experiences here.
